Nehemiah 4:6–14
King James Version
“And I looked, and rose up, and said unto the nobles, and to the rulers, and to the rest of the people, Be not ye afraid of them: remember the Lord, which is great and terrible, and fight for your brethren, your sons, and your daughters, your wives, and your houses.” — Nehemiah 4:14
New American Standard Bible 1995
“When I saw their fear, I rose and spoke to the nobles, the officials and the rest of the people: ‘Do not be afraid of them; remember the Lord who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives and your houses.’” — Nehemiah 4:14
English Standard Version
“And I looked and arose and said to the nobles and to the officials and to the rest of the people, ‘Do not be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives, and your homes.’” — Nehemiah 4:14
It is three in the morning and I am awake again. The house is silent, but my head is not. I keep going over the list: SFA rejected. FSSB inspection. Pressure test failed. Leak detection. LEW endorsement denied. Opening delayed. Hiring blocked. Each “no” lands like another stone on a pile I can no longer see over.
In the dark, the worst question comes up: did I hear God wrongly? I have been here before. The Star Vista lease nearly crushed us, and I still call that outlet what it was, a failure. What if Gateway East is the same mistake, only bigger, with more people depending on me?
I recognise that voice in Judah: “The strength of those who bear the burdens is failing. There is too much rubble. By ourselves we will not be able to rebuild the wall.” They were not faithless. They were exhausted. Half a wall stood around them, enemies sneered from outside, and the rubble never stopped.
What moves me is that Nehemiah did not rebuke their tiredness. He looked, he rose, and he told them to remember. He did not tell them to try harder or to feel braver. He told them to remember the Lord, who is great and awesome.
So at three in the morning, I try to remember.
I remember Ivy arriving with mercy and grace when the Star Vista lease should have ended us. I remember John and Michelle, and so many others, stepping in when TCE ran dry. I remember Jonathan Eu offering this very space at a rent we could never have negotiated ourselves. I remember a boy who thought he ruled the world, broken and then rebuilt through a Crossroads Bible study and Pastor Paul Tan’s patience. Every one of those walls looked impossible from inside the rubble.
Then I remember why this wall matters. Nehemiah told his people to fight for their brothers, their sons, their daughters and their homes. The Academy is not my monument. It is for the Restarter walking out of Changi with little more than a question: is there a place for me? That question is worth a failed pressure test.
Nehemiah’s answer was not only prayer. He posted guards, handed out trowels, and set leaders behind the builders. So this morning I will pray, and then I will do the next faithful thing: resubmit the form, call the plumber, chase the LEW again, and lean on the people God has placed behind me.
I do not know when the doors will open. But I know who is building the house. And tonight, perhaps, He will give His beloved sleep.
Prayer
Great and awesome God, I confess that I have been counting rubble instead of remembering You. The rejections are real and my strength is failing. Yet You have rebuilt walls in my life that I thought were gone for good. Give me wisdom for the next step, courage for the next “no”, and rest for this weary mind. Build this Academy for the sake of those who need a second chance, and let every stone point back to You. Amen.
Soli Deo Gloria
“Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain. It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep.”
Psalm 127:1–2 (KJV)
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