From Reprimand to Reward

Romans 12:16–21

For a long time, I thought I was managing people well. A barista would not turn up for the morning opening at The Gateway, and the rest of the team would scramble. One person on the machine, one on the till, and a queue of CBD office workers, fresh off a packed MRT, waiting for their coffee. Others came and went without clocking in. At month-end, our accounts colleague would sit with the records, trying to work out who worked when. Payroll became a guessing game.

So I did what bosses do. I called people in and reprimanded them. Sometimes I was firm. Sometimes, if I am honest, I was sharp. And sometimes the relationship broke, and the person simply did not come back. I told myself I was keeping standards. But I was also feeding my own anger.

Then Romans 12 stopped me. Paul spends eleven chapters on the good news: God loved us while we were still getting it wrong, and gave His Son for us. Only then does he say, now live like people who have been loved like that. “As much as lieth in you.” Not in them. In me.

I had to ask myself a hard question. Did God change me by scolding me? When I was lost in addiction, it was not a lecture that turned me around. It was kindness. Pastor Paul Tan and the brothers at Teen Challenge kept the door open for me. Scripture says it plainly: “the goodness of God leadeth thee to repentance” (Romans 2:4).

So at TCE we tried something different. With our new HR system, staff who clock in on time earn points. At the end of the month, the person with the most points receives a $200 bonus. It sounds almost too simple. But something shifted. People began coming on time and reminding each other to clock in. The mood at the counter lightened. Payroll became straightforward again. Kindness did what anger could not.

Standards still matter, because grace is not the same as letting things slide. But how we hold people to those standards matters just as much.

So let me ask you. Who are you scolding right now? It might be a colleague, a child, a spouse, or a Restarter who keeps falling short. When did you last trade anger for kindness? Could the person who frustrates you most be waiting for encouragement rather than another lecture?

Pause for a moment. Name that person before God, and ask Him what kindness could look like tomorrow morning. You cannot change everyone. But as much as lies in you, you can be the one who brings peace. And when you do, people catch a glimpse of what God is truly like.